"Where do we begin?" and other frequently asked questions.

Since its inception, Amazon Girls has heard from many interested women and a few interested men, and their questions have generally boiled down to these:

Q: How do I join?

A: You gather your pals together and form a tribe. Take charge of your destiny! Your tribe can be whatever you decide to make of it.

(Brief rant begins here; you’re perfectly welcome to skip it and move on to the next question.)

There is an unfortunate tendency among Homo sapiens to want someone else to arrange a women’s center/ party/ organization/ potluck/ government/ workshop/ independent bookstore, so the rest of us can patronize it at our leisure and criticize the creator and tell how we would have done it.

We, the Amazon Girl founders, have no interest in doing all this for you. You’re big kids, we assume, and know as well as anybody how to pick up the telephone or log on and invite some friends over to chat about forming a tribe.

This is not something to lose sleep over; it’s just a fun way to organize your activities and interests. Dip into the handbook; work on some badges if you like, or if you’d rather, you can sit around drinking tea and discussing how you’d have done it better if you were founding an organization.

You DON’T need to wear dorkey uniforms. You don’t need to pay dues, drink kool-aid, meet regularly, or any of those ”official” things, unless, of course, that’s what your tribe gets into.

Just please, whatever you all decide to do with your tribe, do it with gusto. Pretend you’re living in a beer commercial.

(End of Rant. More questions follow.)

Q: I have no pals because:

1. I’m new to town.
2. I’ve just come out.
3. I have absolutely no social skills and everyone runs away the second they lay eyes on me.
4. I live out in the country and the only other lesbians nearby are this crabby old pair of closeted bull dykes that own the local greasy spoon and refuse to look at me.

So how do I form a tribe by myself?

A: Match the answer to the corresponding question above.

1. This is a great way to meet people. Make a flyer announcing the formation of a new tribe and hang it in your local women's center /bookstore /women's bar /sex toy store/ UU church. Be sure to include your contact information. Make it look cute and perky and, before you know it, you’ll have lots of pals.
2. This is scarier. Work on your Coming Out badge before even thinking of doing anything else, and then you’ll be in better shape to do Step 1, above.
3. Read Miss Manners and then, as your act of moral will, practice, practice, practice controlling those unpleasant impulses of yours to do things like score points against those around you, assholean as they may truly be. At the end of your Tomboy period, Amazon Girls hopes you will have acquired some pals who will want to go to the playground with you.

Q: There’s a group of us that gets together twice a year to camp out and party. Could we be an Amazon Girl tribe?

A: Sounds to us like you already are! At your next gathering, make plans for a stomping-up ceremony to be held at the following gathering. S’mores and a fish fry, yum!

Q: Where can I get my own copy of the cool Amazon Girls Handbook?

A: You can get that from your local bookstore. The Amazon Girls Handbook, by Becky Thacker, is published by Wicker Park Press in Chicago.